Hello everyone – well I’m in the middle of a pile of cardboard boxes, dollies, and carts. Yes, I’m moving and it’s been exciting to be going to a bigger place but also takes focus. So rather than delay – here’s a short post to follow up on Part One about my bullied student who was becoming a bully.
This little boy in my yoga class was feeling bullied and doesn’t know what to do about the bully except to start, as he puts it, “being bad too.”
What Yoga and Mindfulness Tools to deal with a Bully?
He’s actually onto something by being bad too. He realizes that he needs to change his thinking if he wants to change the situation. But it’s not exactly the Bee kind of thinking we’re going for.
Being bad actually gets him attention, from me and his mom and probably some of his other teachers. And that attention, being able to acknowledge his feelings and talk through what was happening helped change things.
When I saw him at class this week he was behaving like his fun self again!
At the end of class he, his mom and I sat down on the bench again. She told me she saw her son talking to the “bully” by the school bus. They were actually having a pleasant conversation!
So again he’s changed his thinking to look for ways to connect with the bully – and it seems to be making the situation better.
When I asked him he said, “It’s okay.”
Connecting with People and Making Small Steps
Well, it’s not exactly an earth shattering response, but going from feeling “bad” to “okay” is a step in the right direction. I was proud of him and told him so. He’s really putting his mind to resolving the situation.
We know this need for change isn’t just a need for six year old boys! It happens to people of all ages. If we feel trapped in a job, stuck in a relationship that is not working, or how about when we don’t like the way we look.
How do we counter this type of thinking? Well in a Mindfulness practice the first step is to feel your discomfort so you realize you want a change of thinking. Without awareness, it is harder to bring about a change.
When we feel things are out of our control, the only thing we can do is take charge of our thinking. The easiest way to do it is through meditation because meditation helps us stay open minded and find new options, it helps us remember we’re not trapped like a worm stuck in the muck.
You may Love Meditation when you Realize Why you Do It
When you introduce meditation in a kids yoga class, find a way to explain the benefits of meditation. For instance, you could tell them the story and ask kids what they want to think like: a worm, a fly, or a bee.
Kids won’t like to meditate if they’re just told they are supposed to do it, it has to give them results in some way. If they know it helps relieve worries or find a solution to a problem then they’ll be interested. Once they learn, I often hear parents say they find their kids meditating at home- on their own. One mom asked he son what he was doing sitting on his bed with his eyes closed. He said, “I’m just getting rid of some of my sad thoughts.”
Kids will just do it. They just sit down and meditate for a few minutes when they aren’t feeling good.
Adults often wait for yoga class to meditate.
But there’s no need to wait to change your thinking.
